So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
