I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
