All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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