____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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