Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
