How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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