I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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