Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
