I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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