my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
