I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
