I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
