if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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