well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
