I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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