Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
