I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sorry about my life...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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