I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
