Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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