just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
