Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can't turn off my feet"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
