Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
