I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
