are you still at the devil's house?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize