ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So many bounce houses so little time
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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