You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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