I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
