WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Randomize
