i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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