Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
that is very illegal...i love you.
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