She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
