i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
