Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
