i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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