I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
