I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
