he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
