And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
