you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
