I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I love having hate sex.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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