You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
