i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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