: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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