I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
