he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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