6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
