Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
