i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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