you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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