Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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