I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize