Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
