Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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