I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize