She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
