He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
