this beer tastes like vomit already
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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