im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
