just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
