Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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