Fuck appropriateness.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dear god my vagina.
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