Reggie can tackle my bush.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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