I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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