she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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