i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
