She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
