Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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