i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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