we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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