conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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