i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
