Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
