Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize