We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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